Only Bella

I wonder how many posts I could start that way? Only Bella has been a saying of mine for almost 6 1/2 years now! She has kept us on our toes since she was born and I often just have to shake my head and walk away from her. Sometimes she boggles my mind, other times she just makes us laugh and laugh.

Today I had to run out to town to pay a couple bills. When I was gone I got a phone call from a friend. I almost never talk on the phone while in the car since I think it's dangerous but since I was so close to getting home I decided to talk. I pulled into the driveway and continued my conversation without getting out of the car. I figured it was quiet in the car and would be loud in the house so I would just finish the call without going in. Pretty soon though the kids realized I was sitting out in the driveway and they started to come out to see what I was doing. They realized I was on the phone so they went back in. Bella and Ben kept coming out and asking me things and I would shoo them off to go back in. Soon though Bella decided she really needed my attention.

I looked up and out the window and Bella was standing there crying, "tears" running down her cheeks. I started to laugh and said, "Bella, please go inside."

"But Garrett stepped on my foot and hurt me!" she said.

I listened to her fake crying and looked at the bubbly spit she had put on her cheeks to make it look like tears and said, "Bella, please go in and wipe the spit off your face and I'll be inside in a moment."

Bella laughed and said, "Hey, how'd you know I wasn't really crying?"

The bubbles within the spit that were put in long lines down her face gave me the best clue. She told me that Garrett really did hurt her foot though. I told my friend I had to go and got out of the car.

Only Bella would think that her spit would pass as tears. Still, it got me out of the car and into the house. Clever for sure, sanitary... probably not.

Update

We go for a surgical consult tomorrow morning for Madison. We'll know more of what they plan to do then. Thank you for your prayers!

Preparing for Surgery

Since being born Madison has had some health issues. Because of the Spina Bifida we weren't overly concerned when she started having problems with her bowels. We knew this was a possiblity. However we weren't prepared for her to stop pooping after only 2 days of life.

Madison passed her first meconium at the hospital and then again at home. From that point on she stopped having bowel movements. We assumed this was ok at first because many breastfed babies only poop once or twice a week with no problems. Because I started supplementing with formula (hyperallergenic) we figured maybe she was getting constipated from the formula (although with hyperallergenic this is rare). Still, we just waited and watched.

We weren't overly concerned at first with her losing weight either. Most newborns lose weight at first but normally by 2 weeks old they have either regained their loss or are starting to regain some weight. Madison is doing neither. She has failed to gain any weight back and while she started out at 8 pounds 2 oz she is currently at 6 lbs 15 oz.

Yesterday we were sent to Egleston Children's hospital to have a barium enema done. The pediatrician wanted to rule out Madison having an intestinal block. Unfortunately instead of ruling out the block we confirmed that she does have one. The test was miserable for her (and me!) and her results are pointing towards her having Hirschsprung's Disease. We are now waiting on the hospital to call us to schedule surgery for her to take biopsies of her intestines to check for the disease.

In the next day or two we will have surgery done and hopefully have her intestines working. I'm not so worried about the actual diagnosis of Hirschsprung's as I am about her being put to sleep for surgery. She's just so tiny and delicate. I worry about the "what ifs" of the surgery. I know we can handle any kind of medical problem but I don't think I could handle if something happens to her in surgery. I know how hard it was to hand over my older toddlers or kids to a surgeon but to give them my brand new baby, I don't know how I'll do that! Just the thought of it brings me to tears.

Hopefully we will hear from the surgeon in the next hour or so. The doctor wanted to have the surgery done as soon as possible and we are talking about having it done today or tomorrow. I'm praying for tomorrow so I can get the other kids settled. I'm not sure if they find that the nerves are missing if they will do the pull through to fix the intestines right away or if we will have to wait for a second surgery. I know that the initia biopsy should be an out patient surgery but I don't know about the surgery to actually fix her intestines (if she needs a second surgery). We'll have to wait and see I guess.

If you could keep Madison in your prayers as well as our family we'd appreciate it. I hope to be able to update soon. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It's been such a long journey through the pregnancy and now this. All those positive thoughts and wonderful prayers have helped carry us through!

One Day She Will Thank Me

Garrett's future wife that is...

Yesterday I got out all of my non-maternity clothes again. All my pregnancy clothes are too big and I needed something to wear. I sorted through all my clothes and got rid of some that I didn't realize were so raggedy. I packed up the maternity wear and had Garrett take it to the garage for me. It was nice to be able to do that. I was tired of wearing only the same 4 or 5 outfits all the time. Seems my belly grew so much during pregnancy, especially towards the end with all that fluid, that most of my maternity clothes no longer fit.

I've been fortunate so far that all my pregnancy weight has slipped off. I'm currently 7 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm probably going to jinx my weight loss by talking about it but I'm just so happy to be in regular clothes. Which brings me to my post today.

After showering and putting on normal clothes I came out of my room and into the living room. Garrett was sitting on the couch playing his Gameboy. He looked up at me and said, "Wow! You just look so skinny! I'm so used to you being pregnant. You look so good!"

Have I raised that boy right or what? I grinned at him and said thank you. Now, keep in mind that I have a lot of weight to lose still but just that one small compliment will take me a long way. I plan on trying my hardest to continue my weight loss and am so ready to have my body back but I know it's going to be a journey, a long hard one at that! Still, if Garrett keeps saying sweet things like that it will make it so much easier for me.

Garrett changes diapers, he washes clothes, he does the dishes, he vacuums, he wipes little people hineys, he rubs feet, he asks if you need anything AND he compliments you on your weight loss... yes, Mrs. Garrett Wife, one day you'll thank me. He is an amazing boy and will be an even more amazing husband and father one day. He's a keeper!

Amazing

The song that is playing is called "Amazing" by Janelle. I just love it. I've had this page open and have been listening to it over and over again. I'm sure the kids are wondering why but the song just pulls at my heartstrings and it sums up how I feel about not only Madison, but all my kids. I am constantly amazed by them and by the love that I feel for them.

People often ask how I can give enough love and attention to all my kids. I always wonder how they can ask that question. I sometimes ask them that if they have more than one child did their love for the one become divided or did it multiply when they had their second child. Obviously the answer is that your love multiplies! I always tell people that when God gives you another child He also fills your heart with even more love. I'm not sure how it's possible but I promise it's exactly what happens.

As I look at Madison I am so overwhelmed by the love I have for her. It's amazing to me that each and every child we have does this to me. What's even better though, is that with each child we add I also see how my other children grow in love as well. God not only fills my heart with more love, but He fills theirs as well! How truly wonderful is that?! I love to see the kids kissing their baby sister, wanting to hold her and just watching her with awe. Everything she does is magical to them. What's more is that their facination doesn't end there. They still coo over and love on Caroline just as much! Their love just melts my heart!

The words to this song just sum up my heart and soul... I am so amazed that we are continually blessed with life. I would go to the ends of the earth for my children and I hope they will always know that everything I do is for them.

Quote of the Week

The quote of the last week was said by Ben. When they came to the hospital to see me, Ben climbed up in my lap while I was holding Madison. Someone lifted Caroline up to me as well. Ben patted Madison and said to Caroline:

"Carowine, dis is your new best fwend."

Talk about melting a mama's heart. If anything, that one line was worth all the labor pains in the world!

Madison Elaine

On Friday, June 26, 09, after a long 24 hours in the hospital, Madison Elaine joined our family! Born at 3:53 pm and weighing in at 8 pounds 2 oz and measuring 19 1/2 inches long, she became the newest angel to bless our hearts.

Labor was difficult as the doctor and midwife did not want me to have a vbac (vaginal birth after c-section) although I had already had a previous vbac. They kept insisting that I do the c-section. They decided that instead of helping me through the process they would wait on my body to do everything naturally. After laboring through the night Thursday and part of the morning Friday they again tried to persuade me to have the c-section. I refused and told them I would rather go home. Of course with a woman in active labor and already 6 cm dilated they didn't want that. They agreed to do things the way I was suggesting (give me an epidural, break my water, and see how things went). Madison's head descended perfectly when they broke my water and my body took over. When all was said and done my birth went exactly the way I had said it would. I was thrilled that they finally listened to me and I didn't have to have an unnecessary c-section. It's amazing to me that the doctor and midwife wouldn't listen to a woman who had done this 8 other times! While I appreciate and respect their experience I would think they would do the same for me.

Madison has full function of her legs and our doctor believes she will have slight to no problems with the Spina Bifida. We are truly blessed. Her siblings love her so much already and are constantly bickering about who has held her the most. She is beautiful and looks just like her siblings. All our children have a "look" to them that makes them distinctly ours. They can't deny each other because they all look so much alike! Madison is no different.

We are in love with her so much and feel so very blessed to add her to our family. Thank you so much for all your support and your prayers along the way. I know that made such a difference in getting her here so safe and sound. I feel so lucky that I am able to have children and that little Madison is mine. I can't kiss her or hold her or stare at her enough. It's funny to think that all those emotions you have with your first are just as strong when you get to your 9th child. My heart feels overwhelmed by the love I have for her. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that she is indeed finally here and is ours.

It has been such an amazing journey and I'm so very blessed to have traveled it so many times.

Hesitant

Here I sit, 38 1/2 weeks pregnant with my 9th child. I'm so ready to have this baby as I am so tired and big and crabby, but, I'm hesitant as well. This pregnancy has been hard. We've faced many ups and downs from losing a twin to learning that our baby has Spina Bifida. We were thankful to find out that she didn't need surgery in utero but still worried about the problems once she gets here. Because of all the other medical obstacles we've faced with the other kids we know that we can handle whatever is thrown our way. Still, we hope and pray for the best for all of our children, including those not born yet. We know this baby is perfect the way she is but we hope that life is a little easier on her!

This pregnancy was very different from all my others. It wasn't until week 32 that this little girl started to move her legs. I had only seen them silent and still on the ultrasounds. It was heartbreaking to think she might not ever move her legs or may have limited movement. Those first kicks were amazing. To know that the movements I was now feeling were kicks instead of hits was thrilling! At first I wasn't sure but then as she got stronger I just knew in my heart that her little bitty legs were finally functioning. It was such a joy to know that she could move them!

The fluid on her heart has resolved itself and while her head has remained small and her tummy big we feel like she has made incredible strides. I know the extra weeks of staying safely inside have given her the extra time she needs to grow stronger and healthier. While I'm so miserable at this point (I'm currently measuring 8 weeks over my real dates!) I know it's what's best for her.

I know we don't have much time left before our newest little girl makes her arrival. In fact I'd be surprised if we get through the next couple days. But while I am so anxious to meet her I am also a little bit sad that my pregnancy is about over. I love feeling her kick and move inside and feel that since we went so long without her moving her legs we were denied some of the fun that goes with the pregnancy. I want to feel her longer. I want that secret bonding that only a mama and baby can do as she is moving inside and no one else knows. I want to feel her hiccup and breathe and wiggle. I guess I'm feeling a bit selfish.

Because of my medical problems we have no way of knowing when our baby making days will be over. It is a miracle that I have had so many babies already. While I have lost so many babies I have also been blessed to bring so many into our lives. I can only pray that I get to feel another baby growing inside of me once again. I have tried my hardest to savor this pregnancy and love every minute of it. While I've complained that I'm ready for it to be over when I can't walk or feel like I'll pass out from blood sugar problems or from lupus flairs, I actually have loved every minute of it. I only wish that I had been able to feel the baby kicking for longer. Still, I have what many others have never experienced and for that I am so grateful.

My next post on baby should be announcing her arrival. I am anxious to hold her in my arms and introduce her to her big brothers and sisters. She is loved already so much. I can't wait to show her the world. I can't wait to show her my love. I just can't wait...

Big Brothers

I always wished I had a big brother when I was a kid. I was #5 of 6 girls with my brother coming in at the end of the line. When I was a kid I always said I wanted 9 kids, all boys. My thoughts have changed since then and I believe God gives us what we need and feel very blessed with my soon to be 7 girls and 2 boys. But I have to say I am happy that most of my kids get to benefit from having a big brother.

Garrett is one of the sweetest kids out there. He is 14 and you'd think he wouldn't have time for his younger siblings but he is a great big brother. He did something today that melted my heart.

He has been saving up his money so he can buy himself a Nintendo DS. He came to me this afternoon and asked if he might be able to buy all the kids some ice cream from the ice cream man. He was going to use his birthday money to do so. I told him that was fine if he really wanted to do that.

He bought them each an ice cream (which for 6 other kids will end up being a ton of money! That ice cream man isn't as cheap as he was when we were kids). He then came inside and apologized to me that he didn't buy me one. He said that he didn't have enough money to buy himself or me an ice cream. But, he still bought all the other kids one. How sweet and thoughtful is that?

He is a great kid and I feel so fortunate that he is mine. I also feel very blessed that the other kids get to have him for a big brother. He is definitely a keeper!

Amazing

As I posted the other day this week we have had Vacation Bible School at our church. It has been really fun for the kids and so rewarding for all of us who have helped out. The joy the kids have is absolutely infectious and you can't help but love watching them have so much fun learning about God and His love for us.

Every year we have kids who come who are not a part of our church family. We welcome anyone who wants to come and participate no matter what their background or beliefs. It's neat to see kids who know nothing about God learn of his love and it's neat to see kids who go to other churches see how much alike we all are in our beliefs about God's love.

This year a little boy named Connor came to VBS. He came with a friend of his mom. When he walked in you knew something was different about him. He had a full mohawk, he was loud and rambunctious and full of life. He was super friendly to all the kids and while none of the kids knew him he made friends very easily. My kids were talking about him from day one telling me how much they liked him and how nice he was.

There was something else about him that was different as well. He had never been exposed to anything Christian (which in itself wasn't out of the ordinary as many kids are there for the first time ever too) but even moreso was the fact that his mother is a practicing Wiccan. Her friend had asked her if she would allow them to take him to church to go to vacation bible school and she agreed. What happened to Connor was amazing.

Garrett's job during VBS was to help out in the drama room. In this room they acted out bible stories for the kids. Garrett was the lead in most of the stories, portraying Jesus on several occasions and Moses on others. Connor was very moved by these stories and these plays. Yesterday Garrett portrayed Jesus and showed how he was willing to take on all our sins so that we could be saved. He did this by having the kids bring small bags of "trash" and attaching them to him as he stood with his arms outstretched (the trash signifying sin and his outstretched arms signifying the cross). The kids then pinned their sins to him and the visual was amazing... Jesus with all their sins covering him and yet he never complained and he accepted all that was put on him.

At the end of this day and this presentation, Connor went to Carol, the adult leader of the drama group and said, "Miss Carol, is there really a God and did he really have a son named Jesus?" Carol answered that yes, it was true. Connor thought for a moment and then said, "That makes me so happy and because of what Jesus does for us, I really want to be a Christian too!"

I have to wonder if the mom was aware that something like this might happen. Surely she knew he was going to be exposed to Christian teachings. I wondered what she might say when Connor tells her that he wants to be a Christian. His story touched my heart and I thought that even though all of us were tired from the long hard week that just this one child was worth all the work, stress and fatigue we had been through to make VBS amazing. But isn't that how God is too? Doesn't he work hard for every single one of us and if just one turns toward him then all he had done is worth it?

I hope and pray that Connor's mom lets him explore his new found faith. I know if my child came to me and said he wanted to be a Wiccan I would be devastated. It would bother me. I can only wonder if she will feel the same way. My faith is so important to me that I hope that it will be equally important to my children. I'm sure the mom has to feel the same way about her beliefs. Will she allow him to go further? My thought though is that even if she doesn't allow him to explore that interest that the seed has been planted that God loves him and does exist! Hopefully one day that seed will begin to sprout and will take hold, blooming into the most amazing flower that will show God's beauty and love for others to see.

What an amazing week!

VBS Quote of the Week

This week the kids have vacation bible school. They have been looking forward to it since last summer. The theme is Crocodile Dock. It's pretty cute. Yesterday at one of the "stations" the kids were talking about things that scare them. They were going around the circle stating their fears and were being reassured that no matter what they are afraid of that God is more powerful than anything they could be scared of.

As they got to Bella (of course) and asked what she was scared of, instead of replying the dark, or spiders, or snakes, or thunder, my child says, "Oh, I'm scared of Michael Meyers 'cause he has knives and can kill people!"

With the straightest face possible the leader tells her that God is indeed more powerful than even Michael Meyers and his knives. She then came promptly to tell me that Bella, once again, gets the quote of the week award!

Bella has never seen the movie Halloween so I'm not sure how she knew who Michael Meyers was but she did seem encouraged to know that if it came down to it, God could and would take him in a fight! God is powerful indeed!

Summer

Is there anything better when you are a kid?

Quote of the Day

As said by Garrett when waiting for his sisters to get out of the bathroom so he could do his chore:

"I think they are in there pooping on purpose!"

Yes, it's best to stink up the bathroom right before your older brother has to clean it. What could be more fun than that?

Almost A Year Old!

I can't believe that Caroline is almost a year old! Where does the time go? This little girl has made such huge strides in the last few months. No longer is she the crying, colicky baby she once was. Now she crawls supers fast, she cruises along the furniture, she's getting hair, and she tries to make you laugh. She has the best giggle you could ever hear and she's always wanting to be wherever the other kids are. She has definitely made her place known in the family.

I wonder how she'll do when the next baby arrives around her first birthday. This will be the closest that we've ever had babies. The next closest in age are Isabella and Anna who are 18 months apart. These two little girls will be Irish twins... literally just a year apart. I think based on how independent she has become that bringing in a new baby is not going to be a problem. There are so many others here to give her attention and love when I am occupied that she never lacks for either.

I can't wait to see her as a "big" sister. I am praying that she and her baby sister will always be close. So far each of the kids are very close to one or more of their siblings. I am hoping for the same with these two.

Caroline is such a peanut... only weighing in at about 15 pounds now. I'm curious if this new baby will be big or little and how soon people will start mistaking them for twins. I just can't wait to see the two of them together. It's probably one of the things I'm looking forward to most for this baby to arrive.

This picture of Caroline is one of my favorites and her expression just shows her personality so much! I just love this picture and months ago when we were struggling so much with her colic I would have never believed we'd ever get to the point where she was a very happy baby! But she is and while she still has her times occasionally, she is a complete joy and makes me smile. She melts my heart and makes me so anxious for our next little girl to arrive.

Summer Fun!

Tonight the kids stayed outside past dark, ate watermelon and played night time hide-and-go-seek. They had a blast. Summer, at our house, has officially arrived!

Human Clue... Otherwise Titled "What To Do On A Rainy Day"

My children crack me up. They are always coming up with something new, either to do or to say. They keep me entertained.

With how much rain we've had recently in Georgia the kids have not been able to go outside as much to play. Because of some very messy rooms that just couldn't be kept clean they lost many of their toys so they haven't had a whole lot to play with inside either. They do have plently of puzzles, board games and some toys to play with but it takes a whole lot more imagination than the electronic toys or the tv. They normally do pretty well though and can figure out something to keep themselves occupied.

Today it was raining again and the kids asked if they could play some board games. I said that was fine. They decided on the game Clue. Unfortunately as they opened the box they realized that someone didn't put it up correctly last time and the little kids got into it and lost many of the cards they needed to play with. Instead of putting the game up they decided to make their own game out of the pieces that were left.

Savannah and Emma asked Kaylie for her help in preparing their new game... Human Clue. Kaylie wrote each of their names, including Caroline's, on separate sheets of paper. She then wrote a room of the house on new papers followed by a weapon on different pieces of paper. She made lists for each child to have that listed the names, the rooms and the weapons (very similar to the real game). She then gave each kid a card that had a name, one that had a room and then another that had a weapon written down on it. The remaining kid, room and weapon was then put under a book that no one could look at.

She instructed them that they had to take their 3 cards and go to the room listed on one of the cards. They had to hide the name card and the weapon card. They all did this and came back to the kitchen. Then the hunt was on! Each big kid paired up with a little kid and started looking for the clues. When they found one in a particular room they could mark it off their lists. The first one to find all the clues came back to the kitchen to show Kaylie and then could make their guess on "who did it, where and with what". Turns out it was Ben, in the kitchen with a rope!

Why they called it Human Clue I'm not sure but it cracked me up how they took this game and made it into something they could all play... and not just around a board! They were hunting through the house, each having a big part in the game and all having a really fun time. Of course Anna reminded me that "Mama, no one weally killed anyone... Ben doesn't have a wope at all! It's just a game we made up!"

I love that my kids have enough imagination to amuse themselves on a rainy day. With all the electronic games that entertain our kids I think just plain ole imaginative play has taken a backseat. It's fun to watch how they work together and how a rainy day becomes a truly fun and memorable one!