Leaving for Missouri

Just wanted to say I hope everyone has a great week. I'll try my best to check in but I don't know how often I'll get to the internet at Mike's parents. We'll be back the 10th or 11th so have a safe and happy week!

Good News!

The doctor's office just called and said that my numbers were even higher than they hoped and expected! They think that everything is ok and that I may just be a little earlier than they originally thought.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers and concerns. I can't tell you how relieved I am and how much your comments helped me. I feel very blessed to have so many online friends that even though most of you have never met me you still care enough to be concerned. Thank you!

Diagnosis: 640.03

I got a phone call this morning from my OB doctor. She said that she was going over my charts and based on my last period and the blood test results of last week she is worried that my hormone levels aren't as high as they should be. She asked if I could come in today to have another blood test done to recheck the hormone levels to make sure they were increasing instead of declining. I of course went in immediately.

The lab tech there was nice enough but didn't seem to be very thoughtful when she asked me, "So is this your last one?" right after she asked me what I was there for and I told her I could possibly be losing my baby. I tried to make light of it and said, "No, probably not. We are waiting to get an ugly one before we stop having babies." She laughed and continued her work. Me on the other hand just wanted her to hurry up and finish.

I was doing ok until I went to check out and saw I saw the diagnosis written on my check out sheet... 640.03 (Threatend Abortion). I made my way out of the building and as I got outside the warm breeze hit me, I heard the birds chirping in the trees and I almost couldn't make it to my car. I did though and then sat in the car saying a small prayer that God's will be done. I told Him what I wanted but also prayed that I would accept whatever He decided for me. That was a very hard thing to do. But what other choice do I have?

I hate the term abortion. I wish the sheet had said Threatened Miscarriage. Abortion sounds like I am choosing to maybe lose this baby. I DON'T choose this though. I choose life. I choose to hold my baby in my arms in 8 months. I choose to stay up late at night rocking him/her to sleep, and snuggling once he/she does go to sleep. I choose to see a first smile, to have a tiny hand wrapped around mine, to smell that sweet baby scent, to watch with amazement as my little baby grows and develops and wonder how I got so lucky. I would NEVER choose abortion in any sense of the word. I hate that the diagnosis thrust on me today was a threatened abortion. I do not choose this. I choose life.

I will find out tomorrow what the labs say and then I guess will go from there. We are supposed to go out of town on Saturday for about 10 days. Emma is in a wedding in Kansas City on Oct. 8. I don't know how this may affect that trip but I am praying for the best. I know that whatever happens is meant to be but it still doesn't make it any easier to go through. This baby is already a part of our family. We have suffered miscarriages before but for some reason this one is weighing even more on me.

If you pray, please say a little prayer for us and for our tiny baby. I'll update tomorrow as soon as I know anything.

Drug Task Force Training Pics

I thought these were pretty cool pictures. They are of the guys on the Task Force training for entry/searches. They of course are pros at it but like all good officers they still train to make sure they are the best they can be. (You can click on the pictures to make them bigger).

Tagged For a 3rd Time!

I love doing these. Martine tagged me so here are my answers!

10 years ago
September 1995...
Garrett was just 3 months old and we were thinking of moving from Tennessee to Georgia so we took a weekend trip to see if we liked the area. Hurricane Opal had just come through and the area was a wreck!

5 years ago...
September 2000 I was homeschooling Kaylie and Garrett. Emma was just 4 months old, Savannah had just turned 2 in August. Mike had been working undercover for about 6 months.

1 Year Ago...
September 2004 I had given birth to Anna in July and we were going to doctors for her heart and bowels. Most of my time was spent either homeschooling or at specialists.

Today... We homeschooled for the required time, I checked on blogs, cooked teriyaki chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans for supper, gave the kids baths, tucked them in bed and am doing this Meme! When I am done with this Mike and I can spend some quality quiet time together!

Tomorrow...In the morning time we will get new tires put on the van since we are going to KC again for a wedding that Emma is in (she's the flower girl!). In the afternoon while the babies nap we'll homeschool. We have a church function tomorrow night.

5 songs I know the words: 1.Incomplete by BSB 2. Enter Sandman by Metallica
3. Life's a Dance by John Michael Montgomery 4. Bring Me to Life by Evanescence 5. Hotel California by The Eagles

5 Snacks: 1. Chocolate chip cookies 2. Chocolate chip ice cream 3. Doritos 4. peaches and cream 5. ice cream sandwich

5 things I would do with $100 million: 1. Donate to my church 2. Set up funds where my children would never want for anything (they could go to college, build a house, take care of their families) 3. Donate to several causes (including kidney foundation, porphyria foundation, and lupus foundation). 4. Give money to my family and friends to help them out 5. Take care of all our financial needs.

5 places I would run away to: 1. Paris, France 2. Rome, Italy 3. Madrid, Spain 4. Charleston, SC 5. Dublin, Ireland

5 things I would never wear: 1. black eyeliner like a raccoon 2. a bikini 3.blue eyeshadow 4. leopard print 5. camoflauge

5 favorite tv shows (currently) 1. House 2. Ghosthunters 3. A Baby Story 4. Conan O'Brien 5. Extreme Home Makeover

5 joys: 1. My faith 2. my marriage 3. my children 4. listening to classical music 5. studying obsessively anything that I find interesting

5 bad habits: 1. I stay up too late at night 2. I sometimes start things that I know I don't have time to finish 3. Cracking my knuckles 4. Listening to music really, really loud 5. putting off my laundry

5 things I like doing: 1. listening to music 2. going on long drives through the countryside 3. surfing the internet 4. debating 5. playing with my girls' hair

5 famous people I would like to meet: 1.Pope Benedict XVI 2. George W. Bush 3. Mel Gibson 4. Stephen King 5. Conan O'Brien

5 favorite toys: 1. computer 2. Cd player 3-5 ??? I can't think of anything else that I would consider a toy!!

I'm not tagging anyone but if you would like to do this please let me know that you are doing it so I can read it at your site!

Lucky Number 7

We are expecting our 7th child! I found out Friday that we are expecting a baby in May. We suspected it several weeks ago but I hadn't been able to get a positive test. Finally I went in for a blood test on Thursday and got the news Friday. The kids are so excited! They can't wait and Emma is having a hard time understanding that it will be a while before the baby comes. She wants it here now! It should be an exciting wait for them. Their joy makes it that much better for Mike and me!

I just wanted to share our news. Lucky 7 is on the way!

Feminism

This may be a controversial post and I'm not sure how anyone who reads here feels about this subject so please be aware that these are my thoughts only. I will not tolerate any hateful comments, you are free to disagree with me but anything hateful will be removed.

Feminism: Pronunciation: (fem'u-niz"um), —n. 1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. 2. (sometimes cap.) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women. 3. feminine character.

Equal: Pronunciation: (ē'kwul), —adj., n., v., e•qualed, e•qual•ing or (esp. Brit.) e•qualled, e•qual•ling. —adj. 1. as great as; the same as 2. like or alike in quantity, degree, value, etc.; of the same rank, ability, merit, etc. 3. evenly proportioned or balanced 4. uniform in operation or effect. 5. adequate or sufficient in quantity or degree. 6. having adequate powers, ability, or means 7. level, as a plain. 8. tranquil or undisturbed 9. impartial or equitable.

On the surface I think feminism is a great thing. Women should have the right to vote, hold office, work outside the home, make equal pay for equal work, etc. However I think that the feminist movement of yesteryear is not the same as we see today.

The feminist movement today has made a remarkable detour from the goals of those first women who fought for women's suffrage, to own property and to be treated fairly. The feminist movement now seems to be going in a direction in which the rights of men are now being compromised. I wonder how this is fair.

How is it that a movement originally started to insure equality has made it so that men are now not equal. That they have less rights (in marriage, children, child support, etc) than women? How can this be a good thing? It can't. Children need their fathers and the feminist movement (perhaps not all sectors but the majority) are teaching women that men don't matter. That our children can be raised without fathers to help guide them through life. They couldn't be more wrong.

I am not saying that a woman can't raise a child on her own but I am saying that research has shown that children do better when both parents are very involved in a child's life. I know several women who can testify to this fact. It's a shame that a movement that started out preaching the right things has gone so awry.

As a woman I am thankful that I can vote, own property, etc. I'm glad that I can work outside the home if I needed to do that to help my family. I'm thankful for the sacrifices of many women before me to insure those rights. But with that in mind I also know that I am not equal to every person out there, man or woman. No one is! Yes, we should have equal rights (life, liberty the pursuit of happiness, etc.) but that doesn't mean that I can do the same things as well as the person beside me. I also don't believe that just because I am a woman that I should be handed a job that a man might be more qualified for (afirmative action). I don't believe that I should be payed the same as the next person if I am not performing to the standards set forth or as well as the person in the next office. To say we are all equal is just wrong. We aren't. Some of us excel in some areas, some excel in others. We should have the equal right to "try" for a position but just because I am a woman I shouldn't have a leg up on the competition. I believe there are positions that women should serve in but that there are jobs that are more suitable for men and some more suitable for women. Does that make me any less important, no. But I know that I am not the same as the guy next door, or his wife, or his children. Thank God for that!

Unfortunately until we, as women, decide to take our place beside our men our society will continue on this downward trip. It's not that we are any less important than men but neither are we more important. Unless we become companions again to our counterparts (instead of working against them) we won't see any kind improvement in our society. To feel we are better just because we are women is misguided notion. We should neither be held above nor below men, but beside them. Working with them, not against. Supporting each other, not dragging each other down.

It's a shame what feminism and the over importance of "womanhood" has done to our society. While I don't believe that women should be chained to the stove, slaving away for her man, I don't believe that we should be without men in our lives. They are important. They are needed. We couldn't live without them nor they without us! We need to respect men if we want to receive respect ourselves.

We need to take back our society. The society that values marriage, that values family, that knows the importance of both mother and father. The society that respects men and women not because they are equal but because they are different.

We can never be equal but we can be equally important. That to me is what truly matters, to be equally important. Both men and women deserve that.

My New Best Friends

The Teletubbies are my new best friends. Why? We used to be friends not so long ago it seems. When Emma was a baby they were the only thing that got us through very long, sleepless nights. But eventually she wasn't as entralled with the chubby foursome and we put away the tapes of them dancing and galavanting around and packed up all four stuffed talking Teletubbies. That is until this past week.

Isabella is a handful. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. She gets into everything and is constantly on the go. We hadn't been able to find anything that would keep her attention for any length of time until I decided to give the Tubbies a try again. They worked their magic once again. She loves them and will sit through an entire tape (an hour long!) to watch them. During that time I have been able to get school done with the kids or things done around the house. It has been a godsend!

Once, a long, long time ago, I swore that my children would never watch Barney. I was wrong. I swore that my children would never watch the Wiggles. I was wrong. I swore that my children would never, ever, ever watch the Teletubbies. I am so glad that I was wrong. If I could I'd take my new best friends out for a thank you dinner. I know they like Tubby custard but I wonder if I could convince them to go someplace that serves grown up foods. If not that would be ok, I'm just so thankful for their help and the tiny piece of sanity they have provided me.

"We're On the Way to the ER With Your Husband..."

Mike had to work this Friday evening, they were serving an arrest warrant on a escapee from Washington state. He was considered armed and dangerous. I knew Mike would be late. How quickly they apprehended the fugitive would determine how late he would be. At 8:00pm my phone rang.

"Michelle, we're on the way to the ER with your husband." These are the words I heard through the telephone receiver from the 2nd in command at the Drug Task Force. My heart dropped. My eyes filled with tears. I stumbled out the words, "Steven, what happened? Is he going to be ok?"

"He's going to be ok but he we need to get him to the ER, but don't worry about him, he'll call you in a bit. He got into some yellow jackets and can't breathe but we are on our way to the ER right now. We'll call you back."

I let out a breath... he wasn't shot but he still was heading to the ER. Several of the children are highly allergic to stinging insects and we have epipens for them "just in case". I know the dangers of a severe allergic reaction. I waited anxiously for hours for the call to say he was coming home. If I had someone to watch all the kids I would have gone to the ER myself but that wasn't an option so I sat impatiently for hours. Close to 11pm I got the call I was waiting for. Steven drove him home. When he got in the house I asked first if he was ok and second what happened. He recanted the story for me.

Through intelligence they received and confirmed, they decided to help one of the county sheriff departments in taking in a fugitive from Washington. The man was wanted for armed robbery, was known to have a stash of guns and to always be packing a weapon. The Task Force was called on because they are the closest to a SWAT team that there is around these parts. They are by far the best trained for an endeavor of this kind. They decided that instead of storming the house and breaking doors down (since he was considered armed and dangerous and they weren't sure of what kinds of weapons he had) they would surround the house and call him. The deputies took their places around the house as did all the Task Force agents. Mike was assigned as one of the cops at the back of the house. He stood to the side of a tree and raised his M4 . There was a rock in the way of his footing so he moved it with his foot. As he did he unearthed a yellow jacket nest. Immediately the jackets starting bombarding him and stinging him. He was covered from head to foot in the wasps. He ran to the front of the house and to the road trying desperately to get the jackets off of him.

Seeing that they were set to call the man, Mike took up position behind a tree in the front of the house, all the while continuing to be stung. The man attempted to run out the front of the house but ran back inside. Shortly thereafter he gave himself up and came out of the house crying. He surrended to the cops. They arrested him and then proceeded to do a search of the house. The entire time this is going on, Mike is on point, helping clear the house, secure evidence and question the girlfriend still in the house. When they finally finished he ran outside and took off all his gear. Under his vest there were still yellow jackets stinging him. I asked how he could handle that while they did the arrest and his reply was, "I just had to. The others were depending on me and nothing can get in the way of that."

The EMTs that always attends warrants of this kind checked Mike out and told him they thought he should go to the ER. But because he was breathing ok and not swelling too bad they said it was up to him. He declined. As they made their way back to the office he started to have heart palpatations and started to swell. He tried to take Benedryl when he got there but couldn't swallow. His throat started to close on him and his face started to swell shut. They rushed him to the ER where they started IVs and gave him two different drugs to help him. They told him that because he was stung so many times that in the future it will take even less stings to get him to where he was that night. Had they not been close to the hospital he could have died.

We counted his stings and he has over 100 of them. They are all over his body... his face, his arms, his legs, his back, his chest. Yesterday his throat was sore, he ran fever and his body ached. His head pounded and he couldn't function. He mostly slept but was able to eat later in the evening. Today he is doing somewhat better, his throat still hurts as does his head. He is itchy, but not in the normal sense of the word. It is an itch that scratching doesn't help. Benedryl doesn't help and he refused to let me fill the prescription that the ER doctor gave him. But he is feeling somewhat better so that is good.

Friday night my heart stopped and I felt like I couldn't breathe. That fear that is always there took over me. The stress of being a cop's wife culminated when I heard those dreaded words, "Michelle, we're on the way to the ER with your husband." I immediately pled to God that my husband, my best friend, the other half to my soul, would be ok. I said a prayer of thanks that he was. That we could spend another day together. While I have always held my marriage and my husband in the highest regard, I won't ever take a minute our time for granted again. I know every time he walks out the door to go to work that I could potentially get a phone call like that or an officer on my doorstep. I'm so thankful that this time everything ended up ok. Next time we may not be near as lucky. While I can't dwell on those facts I can do something differently. I don't plan on wasting a single day thinking or worry about insignificant things or failing to let my husband know just how much he means to me and to our family. Our time is too short for that. It's better to spend it enjoying each other at all times while we can.

Thinking of Going Undercover and Other Stuff

Anna's disaccaride tests still have not come in yet. I'm sick of waiting but what else can you do? The doctor is now thinking that Anna might have Non Celiac Gluten Intolerance (NCGI) She would have to be on a gluten free diet but we would find out the exact problems through an elimination diet. We'll see what the disaccarides tests show and then go from there. Right now she has an ear infection and has been very whiney. I'll be glad when that is cleared up!

The kids are doing well in school. It's a nice boost to my self-esteem that they are doing well, that means I am doing a good job of teaching. Most homeschooling parents have doubts. You always wonder if you are doing a good job. It's nice to have firm proof that all the kids are excelling. Garrett was a particular concern of mine since he is so severly dyslexic and has major processing problems. But even he is doing well and is excited about learning this year!

I am thinking of going undercover. By that I mean I am thinking of publishing a blog without my name. There are many times that I really want to write about certain things but don't want to do it here. It's not that I don't want what few readers I have to read what I need to write about but that I don't want to bring it here and spoil the atmosphere of this blog. There are things that I want to write about but that there are people who know me in real life that I don't want to have the information or hear me complaining about stuff. I don't think they even read here but since I'm not for sure I don't want to take that chance. Does that make sense? Angi told me that maybe I should set up another blog just for that purpose. Do any of you do the same thing for those reasons?

I haven't decided for sure if I really want to do that. If I do I want to think of a really cool undercover name. Any suggestions? :)

Who Are You?

Have you ever wanted to change your name, go incognito for a while, maybe do something that you've never done before but would never do as your normal self? I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had chosen different paths. Don't get me wrong, I love my life- my husband, my children, my friends. But sometimes I wonder how things could have been if I made this decision or that a little bit differently. Would I still be the person I am today? Would I have different values? Would I like that person? For one day I think it would be neat to see what that life might have been like. What experiences would I have had that I might not ever experience now. Obvuiously we can't do that but sometimes it's fun to wonder.

Yesterday while doing schoolwork I told Emma (who is 5) to write her name at the top of her papers. Normally she does this without problems. Yesterday on both papers she wrote her name backwards: AMME I told her that she spelled her name backwards and that she should rewrite it the right way. She asked me why. I told her that her name was Emma, not Amme. she asked what AMME spelled. I told her that I guess it could spell "Amy". Her face lit up and she said, "Mama, I'm not Emma anymore, I'm Amy! I want you to call me Amy!" Savannah heard this and she decided that she was going to be Janie. So I called my girls Janie and Amy yesterday and they loved it. I guess it was like being a totally different person.

Sometimes I wonder what my kids will end up being and doing later in life. How can I help them understand that all their decisions they make ulitmately form them into the people they will become. I'm happy with the decisions I made but am always curious about those that I might have chosen differently if given the chance. I hope that they make the right decisions to become the wonderful people I know they are meant to be. I pray that "Amy" and "Janie" are only around for play and that all my kids learn to love the person they are and will become!

Never Forget

http://www.frugalsites.net/911/attack/

http://www.americatriumphant.com/

Test Results

We got a call that Anna's Celiac tests came back normal! We are still waiting on her disaccarides tests which they say can take up to 3 weeks to get back (probably 2 more weeks since one week has already gone by). Those test show various carbohydrate intolerances. I'm curious as to what they will say.

Her esphogus biopsy showed redness and swelling but they said they couldn't identify the source of what is causing that. I guess based on what the disaccarides tests reveal those might have bearing on her throat.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I appreciate them!!

"Gross!"

Well, since people are reading and no one is responding I thought I would write something "light" today since I think my other posts might be scaring people off. I hope not but it seems that way. So here for your reading pleasure it something cute Savannah said yesterday....

While the kids were eating their lunch yesterday I went into the bedroom to see how Mike was coming along with getting ready for work (he worked till 4am on a call out so was going in later than usual). I sat on the bed to talk to him and he came over to me to sit with me. We were snuggling on the bed, just laying talking, when Savannah came in to ask if she could have another hot dog. I told her yes. As she was leaving the bedroom she asked what we were doing. "Snuggling" I replied. She ran off down the hall to the kitchen.

As she was running she yelled, "GROSS! They are snuggling!"

One day she'll appreciate the fact that her parents are still in love enough to want to snuggle in the middle of the afternoon, talking and catching up on what has gone on through the week. I only can hope my kids have a gross relationship with their spouses one day!

Stories the Media Doesn't Tell

With the horrific stories coming out of New Orleans one would suspect that the government is doing nothing at all to help the victims of the hurricanes. If you were to go strictly by the biased opinions that the media forces down our throats that is the assumption one could make. No one responded fast enough, there aren't enough supplies, the government is being racist-not wanting to help black people. If the media is your only source of information then that might be a good assumption. Afterall they aren't printing or broadcasting all the positives that the government (both federal and local), the police forces (both federal and local) and the everday citizens are doing for the NO community (and the Mississippi and Alabama communities). I have a story that you won't hear on the news... it is the kind of story the news should be reporting but doesn't. It shows that the feds do care for the victims in the storm-torn areas.

The FBI is of course involved in the relief efforts across the south, but especially in New Orleans where there is such mayhem and anarchy. A helicopter carrying several FBI agents was flying over the city on its way to deliver the agents to help out in the peace keeping efforts. As they were flying they passed over top a building where they saw men gang raping a woman. Now, if they were really the heartless jerks that the media is making all federal officials out to be they would have continued on to their destination. However, this isn't the case. Instead the helicopter turned around, the FBI agents slipped down zip lines onto the top of the building to save the woman and arrest the rapists. Did they put their lives in danger? You bet. They didn't know if these guys were armed or not. They obviously didn't have the element of surprise on their side. But they decided that the woman's life was worth saving. Do you think this will make national news? Probably not since it shows that the police do care! What would the public think then?

The problems I have with all the outcry against our nation and how they are handling this disaster is that we are doing the best we can. You can only save so many people at a time. You can only provide so much food and water at a time. They couldn't immediately get in there because of the danger to the rescuers and consequently to the victims. They can only do so much at one time. Now that they can get in there better they are doing just that. It's funny that I hear so many people saying that the government should do better but not many of these people saying this are willing to get off their butts, leave their air conditioned house and car, leave their full fridge and running water to go help out themselves. Sure they give money and perhaps other items but they still complain about how the government is handling the situation. I ask them to go and help out. Be fired at by idiots with assault weapons. Have rocks hurled at you. Risk getting raped. Be in constant danger trying to help out. I bet they would change their tune pretty quick. Maybe it's not as easy as it seems. Maybe there's more to it than meets the eye. Maybe they should shut their mouths and be thankful that the government is trying so hard to rescue these people. That there are heroes out there willing to risk their lives for those they don't know.

So many people are so quick to criticize and judge when they really have no ground to stand on. They can't possibly know what it is like to organize something of this nature. But still they blame those that shouldn't be blamed and continue complaining regardless of the true situation. Once all is said and done I believe the government will have done the absolute most they could have done to save and help these poor people. They will provide money for rebuilding and to help start a new life. They will be there long after those who criticize have gone. They will be the ones to ultimately pick up the pieces and rebuild the cities and lives torn to shreds. I am so thankful to have our government. There is no place I'd rather be!

The Long Arms of Katrina

Like everyone else I am in awe and disbelief at the devastation caused by Hurricane Katrina. We all knew it would be bad, we even were warned, but to see the pictures and the videos just make us understand how much we truly didn't understand.

I have read several blogs that perhaps will say it better than I ever could but to say the hurricane has touched our nation is an understatement. No one can fully express the toll it has taken on the entire U.S. I can't look at the tv or pictures on the internet without tears rolling down my cheeks. While I know that is not enough to help those poor people out it is all I can offer right now. I have no money to send, I can't up and leave my children to go help, I can't even send any "extras" I have laying around the house since we are in a position of "needing" right now ourselves. All I can offer is my tears and my prayers for all those who have been hit in one way or another by this devastating storm. As with so many Americans, and others around the world I suspect, I feel so helpless.

It's amazing how far reaching Katrina's arms were. Here in our county we had two tornadoes hit that day. It resulted in two deaths. One was as a result of a car accident, a direct result of the weather. The other was a chicken farmer. While our home wasn't in the danger area to know that some of our fellow residents lost everything is scary enough! As the kids said while we were going to the basement during the tornado, "I really don't like hurricanes!" I second that thought! While I know that the 30 or so homes and farms destroyed in our county don't compared to the 100,000s that lost everything it is significant to show that you didn't have to be in the direct line of the storm to suffer.

One of my neighbors is a police officer for another county. His wife came over last night and asked if I thought I might be able to watch her youngest boy while she was at school this week and next (she's studying to be a teacher). I told her yes, I wasn't going anywhere since we couldn't afford any gas (I cancelled all doctor appointments!). She said that her husband was heading out to Lousianna to assist in the peace keeping efforts there. She said that she didn't have money to pay me and that she wasn't sure how long I'd need to watch him (but probably just this week and next). I told her that was no problem at all. I guess in a way I am doing a tiny part to help out. It's all I can do for now.

Garrett told me today as we sat and looked at the before and after pictures of New Orleans and of Mississippi that on one hand he was glad that we weren't in the path but on the other he wished it could have been us. When I asked him why he said, "Mama, so many people lost their homes, they lost their families, they lost everything. I know the kids are probably scared. I wish it could be us so they wouldn't have to go through that." He made me cry with his big ole heart! How I wish I could take some of the pain that all these people are feeling and that will feel for months and years to come. And while I know that it is hard to see, the tiny light of hope still flickers, waiting to have it's flame fanned to burst forth and spread it's warmth to those who need it most. I pray that those who lost so much haven't lost hope.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up. --Anne Lamott

Strength and courage aren't always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles they overcome. The strongest people aren't always the people who win, but the people who don't give up when they lose.-- Ashley Hodgeson.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out.-- Vaclav Havel.

In the dark dreary nights, when the storm is at its most fierce, the lighthouse burns bright so the sailors can find their way home again. In life the same light burns. This light is fueled with love, faith, and hope. And through lifes most fierce storms these three burn their brightest so we also can find our way home again.-- Unknown.