Brave

Earlier this morning Savannah saw a spider spiraling down on a silken string from the ceiling. She screamed, "There's a big spider!" I asked where it was and then saw it immediately. It was a rather intimidating spider, especially if you are 7, but for someone who hates spiders you don't have to be 7 for it to give you the shivers.

I got a couple paper towels, folded them in half and carefully went over to the spider and squished it between the towels. Cheers went up and everyone was happy again.

Savannah then asked, "Mama, when will I be as brave as you?"

Emma answered, "When you're a Mama of course!"

If she only knew how unbrave I am. How scared of certain things (like spiders and snakes) that I am she might not be asking that question. But Emma is right, when you become a mother (or a father) you have to do things that normally you don't have any desire to do or are scared to do.... like kill spiders.

"Are You Sure I'm Not a Little Bit Asian?"

This was asked of me a few days ago by Kaylie, my blond headed, blue-eyed very white twelve year old. By looking at her you can tell she is obviously not Asian at all. No matter how much she hopes I'll say yes there's no denying her Irish/Scottish background. She's very bummed that she has no Asian descendants in her family tree.

Kaylie is obsessed with all things Asian. She has said on several occasions that when she is older she plans on living in Japan for a few years. She loves Asian food and art, cartoons and music. She wants to do her room in an Asian theme when we move and build our new house. I think it is wonderful to be so excited about another culture. I plan on assigning her some research work to further her knowledge about the Asian cultures. I'll let her pick a particular culture (which I'm sure will be Japanese) and let her go from there. I plan on teaching her how to make some native dishes from wherever she chooses, study the art and the way of life there. I also hope to be able to purchase a computer program to help her learn the language (which is sure to be Japanese!).

One of the joys of homeschooling is seeing your child branch out into areas they normally wouldn't. Kids have a natural curiosity and homeschooling has allowed me to further that curiosity and encourage further learning about all kinds of subjects. I'm excited by Kaylie's interests. What she learns about Asian cultures will trickle down to the others as well. Without even trying all the kids will be edcuated on another culture. I'm really looking forward to it.

Kaylie is an amazing child and student. I'm so fortunate to have her as my daughter. And maybe, just maybe, she is a little bit Asian... she was conceived immediately after Mike came back from a 6 month tour to Okinawa. ;)

I'm a Slacker...

Not really but that's how I feel. I know it's been almost 2 weeks since I last wrote anything and I want to write but have just been swamped with so much other stuff plus being tired on top of everything else. I'm left with little time to do what I really want to do... sit here and write.

I have a lot of ideas about things that have happened in the last couple weeks, shoot the last couple months, that I want to write about and I promise to get to it. I just need to find the time and the energy to do so. In fact, I am promising myself to sit down tonight and write. But for now this is my slacker post to say hi to everyone and let you know that I am still around, miss reading and catching up on everyone and will get back to normal.

It's Your Business Why?

Today we went to the park to meet up with another homeschool family. The oldest boy is one of Garrett's best friends and we haven't seen them for a while. It was nice to get together with them. They were already at the park and waiting for us when we pulled up. We were running late since we had to wait on the little boy I babysit a few times a week. His mother was running late and of course that threw us off schedule. As we were getting out of the car our friends came running over to the van to greet us. We all piled out of our van and headed to the playground. I started to apologize to my friend for being late. I told her that we had to wait on Matthew's mom to get to our house to drop him off. She looked puzzled and said, "Oh, wow, I guess that one isn't yours is he? It didn't even occur to me that you had an extra!" I laughed. Beause we have so many anyway it never occured to her that we might have an extra. Of course for me it was second nature too because afterall once you get to a certain point having extra children around really doesn't phase you (well at least it doesn't bother me!)

It's funny that those who know us see us as so huge that they don't notice when you have an extra. Unfortunately there are others out there who notice right away and have to make sure they comment on it. We have been on the receiving end of many rude and thoughtless questions. Some that make your head snap up and fire blaze in your eyes. Sometimes you want to scream at these people or ask them a very rude question right back at them. Most of the time though you keep your tongue and you nod politely and try to get away from them as quickly as possible.

There are several other bloggers that are writing about their large families and the remarks they get from family, friends and strangers. One of my favorite writers, Chris, has a great piece over at her sight. Another writer, Carmen, has a great piece on it too. If you read through their comments you can get other perspectives on the topic as well. While I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the comments I get, it bothers me that there are just so many rude people out there who ask such personal questions to moms of many.

I understand that some people are curious about the lives we lead and why we ended up devoting our lives to so many children. But some of the people out there are just plain mean and judgmental. These are the people that bother me. The ones saying, "you've got your hands full," or "wow, that's a lot of children" I don't think are being mean. The ones that say, "wow, I feel sorry for you" or "don't you know what birth control is? You should keep your legs closed" are the ones that fire me up.

You may be wondering what kinds of things people think they have the right to ask and say. Here are some examples of what NOT to say (even jokingly) a mom (or dad) who has a large family....

1. Don't you know what causes that? Of course we do you idiot.... we like it alot and are obviously good at it. Do you need any pointers?

2. I bet you wish you had all boys (or girls)? No, we are perfectly content with what we have been blessed with. If I had all girls or all boys it would be exactly what we need. (someone once told me it was a shame my girls weren't born boys as girls are pains... this was in front of all my children!)

3. How much money does your husband make? I bet it's a ton! No, he is a police officer and as such doesn't make a whole lot of anything. We budget, scrimp and save. We know what is important and get those things first. By the way, how much do you make?

4. When are you going to get fixed? I didn't realize I was broken. Why would I fix something that is obviously working great?

5. Don't you realize that the world is overpopulated? No, it's not. That is a myth. Do some research and you'll find this to be true. Don't open your mouth and spout off ridiculous notions like this without doing your research. It only makes you look like a fool.

6. There's no way you can give all your attention to all of those kids. Someone is being left out I'm sure. There's no way you could love all those kids. I'll bet my children actually receive far more attention that yours could ever hope to get. Not only do they have me and my husband loving on them and giving them attention but they have each other as well. When you are busy and need to get something done, who is giving your child love and attention... at my house there is always someone to love on you!

7. You are irresponsible to have all those children. How so? They are loved, cherished, fed, clothed, sheltered, schooled and have everything the need and at no expense to you. What more should I be doing?

8. Man, I'd hate to be you! I feel sorry for you! I'm sure my children are very happy that you aren't me either! Don't feel sorry for me... sure having this many children is a lot of work but the rewards are a hundred fold! You have no idea how much love there is at my house! I wouldn't trade it for anything!!

9. What are you, rabbits? No we are not rabbits but my husband is a fox... you should see him. It's no wonder I can't stay away from him.

10. So, are you going to be done breeding anytime soon? No, we are not. We have to make sure that we do our part to balance out the ratio of intelligent, well-mannered people in the world to the stupid and rude ones that we seem to be running into all the time.

Of course I don't say those things to the people who make comments but man how I want to! The worst I have ever said back was in response to "don't you know what causes that?" My reply was "of course we do, we like it alot and it is really fun... you should try it!" That makes the person stop in their tracks and not make anymore comments to us. There are other remarks that are made all the time and some that are made rarely but are by far the worst ones. I never know what is going on in a person's mind that makes them think they can ask all kinds of personal questions regarding our finances or our sex life just because we have a lot of children. I would never dream of doing that to someone else.

There are some great people out there too... the ones that tell us how blessed we are, how they wished they had a large family themselves, that we remind them of how they raised their children and how well-behaved our children are. I love when these people talk with us. They make me so proud and they make my children proud too. It's nice to remind them of the times when these kinds of folks make remarks instead of having to soothe their hurt feelings when others make rude ones. Unfortunately the good remarks are far less often than the rude ones.

I find it very sad how society views families with a lot of children. Don't they realize that our children today are our future tomorrow? My children are very well-behaved, they are thoughtful and kind, they are loving and respectful. My children are well-rounded, they have a great understanding of those around them and are always the first to help someone in need. I believe that we can attribute these qualities to growing up in a large family. Yes, I realize that other children are this way too and can be onlies or with one or two siblings but the fact of the matter is statistics show that children in large families tend to be this way more often than not. How can the fact that we have a large family be bad for the society at large and why are so many people disgusted by it?

With all that said, I have to say that I feel so blessed to have all my children and hope that if God and my husband are willing we will have more children in the future. I know that if we do not only will I be blessed but my children and all those who come in contact with them will be as well.

Beware of Photobucket!!!!

Photobucket has recently changed their terms of service. It is vitally important that you are aware of the changes if you happen to use their services (which until today I did). Now within their service agreement the following appears:

In order for Photobucket.com to permit you to use the Services, you grant to Photobucket.com a perpetual, universal, non-exclusive, royalty-free, transferable, license to use, copy, distribute, modify, print, display and otherwise exploit in any manner any User Content and to enable third parties to use the Services to do the same.

I don't agree to anyone using my photos as they see fit, sharing them with 3rd parties and exploiting (their own words there!) for any purpose. This means that they could take personal photos of my family and use them in any way at all. Considering that I had pictures of my husband in my account this would be a very bad thing. I mean, come on, he works undercover. This is why you have never seen his picture posted here (and won't see it ever). I would love to show him off but it's off limits unless his face is unrecognizable (as in one set of pictures I posted of the DTF training). I deleted all the pictures that I had in the account and then cancelled the account to be sure that our photos don't end up all over the internet, etc.

I'm very disappointed in this as I had pictures that I just got today that I wanted to share. I'll have to find another photo hosting site that is willing to respect our privacy and not exploit anyone who uses their services. If you happen to be browsing through my blog and see that some pictures are missing you will know why... they no longer exist on photobucket and can't be seen. There are pictures however that will remain on my site because I uploaded them from my computer directly to blogspot so that will be nice. I'm hoping most of the pictures will remain. I'll also be keeping my ear to the ground to find a reputable photo hosting site that I can trust. If you know of any please let me know!

Fasting and Feasting

During Lent we are called to fast and to abstain. While most think of this as strictly food we can fast and feast in other ways. This not only applies to Catholics but to all peoples. While I am not familiar with how many other religions celebrate the Lenten season I do believe that we can all benefit from the following.

LENT is a time for fasting
LENT is a time for a joyous season of feasting.
LENT is a time to fast from certain things and to feast on others.

During Lent Holy Mother the Church calls on us to:

Fast from judging others ............................ feast on the Christ indwelling in them.
Fast from emphasis on differences .............. feast on the unity of life.
Fast from apparent darkness ....................... feast on the reality of light.
Fast from thoughts of illness ........................ feast on the healing power of God.
Fast from words that pollute ........................ feast on phrases that purify.
Fast from discontent .................................... feast on gratitude
Fast from anger ........................................ feast on patience
Fast from pessimism ................................... feast on optimism.
Fast from worry ........................................ feast on divine order.
Fast from complaining ................................. feast on appreciation
Fast from negatives ..................................... feast on affirmatives
Fast from unrelenting pressures ................. feast on unceasing prayer
Fast from hostility ..................................... feast on nonresistance
Fast from bitterness .................................... feast on forgiveness
Fast from self-concern ................................ feast on compassion for others.
Fast from personal anxiety ............................ feast on eternal truth.
Fast from discouragement ............................ feast on hope.
Fast from facts that depress ......................... feast on truths that uplift.
Fast from lethargy .................................... feast on enthusiasm.
Fast from suspicion ................................... feast on truth.
Fast from thoughts that weaken ................... feast on promises that inspire
Fast from shadows of sorrow ....................... feast on sunlight of serenity
Fast from idle gossip ................................. feast on purposeful silence.

Lent

Lent officially started on Wednesday. I am excited for the Lenten season since it gives us not only a way to really reflect on how to improve ourselves spiritually but it also gives us a countdown to Easter. I love the entire Easter season and am excited that it is here!

Lent in the Catholic faith is very important. As Catholics we are supposed to take the time leading up to Christ's death and resurrection to reflect on how we can improve ourselves and to live a life more in line with the perfect life God calls us to live. It's a difficult time for most. To really look at yourself and identify what you are doing wrong both spiritually and morally is daunting but it is so necessary. While we shouldn't wait until the Lenten season to do this it really is the perfect time to focus on those issues in our lives that are keeping us from having the fullest relationship we are able to have with God.

During Lent some of the traditions that Catholics practice are fasting, abstaining from meat, delving deeper into the bible, giving up something (self-sacrifices), and trying to make ammends for wrongs we have done. Besides sacrificing and praying more we are called to be more attentive to our families and our faith. There are so many traditions that many Catholics have during this time to encourage family togetherness and involvement. Making pretzels together, attending the Stations of the Cross, Friday meals with your Parish or with your family remembering why we are we are abstaining from meat and/or fasting, special songs and prayers, shrouding crosses and making Resurrection cookies. Many families have their own traditions that they follow. It is a beautiful time in the Liturgical year. I am so happy it is finally here!