Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, we wish you the Merriest Christmas! We hope that you are blessed beyond your hopes in the new year!

Use The Power Of Santa Responsibly

Emma and Savannah have been fooling around in the bed for hours. They are playing and giggling and being silly. All the things little girls who are excited that TOMORROW is Christmas Eve seem to do. However there comes a time when they need to listen and need to go to sleep.
Right now I am baking cookies but there are other things I need to get done, things that require all little children to be sound asleep dreaming of sugar plums.

Emma and Savannah have other plans though. Emma's plans, it seems, include getting up as many times as she can to get a glass of water. On her most recent trip to the kitchen I heard her skipping down the hall. I knew she was on her way to see if the cookies were done (of course I also knew that her excuse would be needing more water). So right before she got to the kitchen I picked up the phone off the wall and started to dial our own phone number. She couldn't hear the dial tone or the beeping as it registered our number. She picked up her glass and started sipping water, smiling so sweetly, yet so naughty as well. As she sipped I started to talk...

"Hello? Yes, could you please put Santa on the phone?"
(Emma's smiling from ear to ear)

"Hi, Santa. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know. I guess so. You see, Emma and Savannah are just having a really hard time getting to sleep tonight. I've asked them time and time again to settle down and go to sleep but they won't. Oh, uh-huh. Yes."
(Emma's not smiling anymore)

"Yes Santa. She's standing right here. Would you like to talk to her?"
(Emma's eyes are as wide as she can open them and she's backing away from the phone shaking her head no as hard as she can)

"Well, it seems like she doesn't want to talk to you."
(Emma runs off down the hall to tell Savannah I am on the phone with Santa)

"Ok, thank you Santa. I'll tell them. Good night!"

I walked down the hall to see what the girls were doing. They were both wide eyed and shaking. Evidently having me put in a call to Santa was a little nerve-wracking for them. Still I assured them that Santa said he would be coming tomorrow and would really like them to get some sleep.

It is now 15 minutes later and all is quiet on the homefront. I don't know what I'll do on Monday night when I don't have the power of Santa at my disposal. While I don't use it often I do like to use it when I can. The key is to use the power of Santa responsibly. If you don't then it loses it's kick. Who else can get two little girls who are overly excited for Christmas to sleep in a matter of minutes?

The power of Santa is strong, use it wisely.

Good news, ok news and bad news

The Good: Today has been a better day compared to the ones we've had recently. The reason? I had the lumps checked in my breasts today and found that they are not anything to be worried about. The doctor believes them to be benign cysts. One was gone and the other greatly reduced in size. The ones on the outside of my breasts are slowly but surely diminishing as well. I've been told to watch them and to go back in a month's time to recheck but that more than likely no other actions will be needed. I will probably ask for a mammogram next month to put my mind completely at ease but for now I am breathing a little easier about my breasts.

The OK: We heard from the gastroenterologist about Emma's u/s today. They said that everything looked normal. Good news in one sense but sets us back to square one in another. I'm thrilled that there wasn't any defects or major problems but it's frustrating to not have an answer. They are going to let me know what they want us to do next for her. We aren't sure if that is going to mean different meds or biopsies. We did get some blood work back on her that showed slightly elevated positive levels for Celiac's disease. Not substantial enough to say yes that is her problem for sure but something to mark it as a possiblity. She is on the very high end of normal, very low end of positive. Of course, who's to say that her high normal, low positive isn't enough to really cause her problems. It certainly would explain a lot for her. We all know that how something affects one person isn't always the same for the next. I am planning on changing her over to a celiac diet to see if there are any changes. Anna has celiac tendancies (some gluten intolerances) too and it runs in families so that very well could be her problem. I am hoping we'll see results by changing her diet. I know we have to do something soon as she is in pain so much of the time. Yesterday she said her pain was the worst on the "smiley face" scale.

The Bad: We are scheduling Ben's surgery for next week. He will have a rectal suction biopsy. The doctor assures me that it is far worse sounding than it actually is. To be honest it doesn't matter how easy it will be it's still having to hand over my baby to someone other than my husband or one of the kids. I completely trust our doctor, he is almost one of the family by now, but it's different. He's my baby. He's so tiny and it breaks my heart to think of him going through anything. They'll be checking for Hirschsprung's disease. I don't think this is his problem but we'll see. I am hoping that he'll be in and out quickly and that we should have the results right away. I don't know if we will or not but I do know that Scottish Rite Hospital (Children's Healthcare of Atlanta) is one of the best children's hospitals in the nation. Our doctor is wonderful and the Section Chief of Pediatric GI. He's seen us for the last 6 (almost 7!) years starting with Garrett and working with Emma, Anna and now Ben. I trust him completely but still would rather not have to hand my son over to him!

So today has had it's ups and downs but I am looking at things positvely and praying that God handles all the things that I can not. It's the only way I'll get through all of it. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Each time I get an email, a phone call or a surprise in the mail (thank you Meghann!!!!) it makes me cry and smile all at the same time. You can't know how much it means to me to know that others are thinking about and praying so ferverently for our family. I know that God is listening and He always provides. I know He has blessed me in so many ways and my friends here are at the top of those blessings. Thank you so much.

For now I am going to let go of all the worry and enjoy the holiday. Afterall, this is the time where God sent his only Son to save us. He saved us 2000 years ago, he continues to save us now. No matter what happens I know that He is here and I am so thankful.

Still Alive!

We are still here and feeling a little better. I had my kidney stone blasted last Thursday. Friday was a pretty bad day for me. I've been feeling a little better each day though so that is an improvement! I went yesterday to the urologist to have my stent taken out but unfortunately they didn't take it out. There is a pretty good sized piece of stone making it's way through the stent right now. It is at the top of the stent and it's a tight squeeze but hopefully it will continue down. Luckily it found it's way to the stent instead of my ureter tube! There are several pretty good size pieces left in my kidney as well so they decided to leave the stent in hopes that they will pass through the stent instead of through my ureter tube. My fingers are crossed! I go next Thursday to have another xray and to hopefully remove the stent then. I go tomorrow about my breasts. I hoping that they have resolved on their own.

Emma had her ultrasound yesterday. We are now waiting for the results from the doctor's office. I'm not sure what our next course of action will be with her. I guess it depends on what they find or didn't find.

Ben is still the same. I haven't made the call yet to have him put on the schedule for the rectal suction biopsy. I know he needs to be but it's going to have to wait till the new year. Luckily the new year is in just a couple weeks!

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We still need them so please keep the coming! We are having major financial issues right now as well because of all the medical problems. More than I want to go into right now but if you could pray that we stay afloat and figure out how to keep everything we have, I'd appreciate it.

I hope to get back on before Christmas but if not I wish all of you a very blessed Christmas!!

When It Rains...

You know the rest of the saying. Well, it is definitely pouring here in Georgia! We are still waiting out our 2 weeks for Ben, Anna and me but something new has cropped up. On Thursday night I started to feel pretty bad. My right kidney was killing me. It's normal for me to have kidney pain so the previous days I had ignored the pain. However Thursday night was different. By Friday morning at about 4 am I knew I was in trouble. I woke Mike and told him I needed to go to the ER. He stayed with the kids and I drove myself there. They did an x-ray and CT scan to discover that I have a kidney stone completely blocking my right kidney.

The doctor told me that I would need to see a urologist first thing when they opened. I went home, called the urologist and left immediately for his office. He said that because the stone is so huge it won't be able to move on it's own and definitely can't be passed. Normally a stone that is 5 mm or less can be passed and they were estimating mine at 11-12 mm. My right kidney was already starting to swell and the doctor decided that I needed an immediate surgery to bypass the block. I left his office, called Mike and headed over to the hospital where I was admitted. The doctor performed a cytoscopy where he put in shunt from my kidney to my bladder. This is allowing the kidney to drain around the stone.

Unfortunately living in small town Georgia sometimes has it's downfalls. One of them in this case was that the machine normally used to "blast" apart kidney stones isn't readily available. In fact it only comes to this particular hospital on a rotating basis. It's not our week this week either.

After waking up and finally feeling ok to leave they sent me on my way late Friday night. I called this morning and was told that more than likely I won't get my follow up surgery to break up the stone this week either. However they are bringing me in to see the doctor tomorrow. I was originally told that I wouldn't be able to get another appointment till the 20th! I imagine hearing me cry on the phone, talking about taking care of 7 homeschooled children might have worked in my favor as they called back saying the doctor wanted to be sure to see me tomorrow. He wants to discuss how we will handle taking care of this. From what he told Mike while I was in recovery the stone is bigger than they thought. I'm just hoping that they will be able to "blast" it and won't have to do a different kind of surgery. I am worried how long I can stand the pain of all this. I normally have a pretty good threshhold, or maybe because I live with chronic pain I can put it behind me, but this is different. It's almost too much for me to handle.

I have no Christmas shopping done. I have no groceries bought. We have several very important doctor appointments coming up, not only for me but for Emma and Ben. I have to be able to make them. I have to be able to function. I am praying like I've never prayed before for myself. I'm scared to death of what could happen and bearing the pain that I've been under. It's not very often that I am down but right now it seems as if the world is against me. I'm fighting to stay above it all.

I know it's tiresome to hear but please keep up in your prayers. Knowing that others are praying for us too helps so much. Right now we are in need of a Christmas miracle. And if not a miracle then we are in need of some major patience and understanding as I am running short these days.

Thank you all and I'll try to update when I can.

On A Lighter Note

Today (yesterday really) was St. Nicholas' day. We traditionally set out our shoes for St. Nick to come and fill with candy and treats. The kids normally line them up by the front door. It's cute to see them all there.

Emma and Savannah were talking about St. Nick coming and Emma, being particularly emotional and sick lately, started to cry. Pretty soon she was sobbing. We asked her what was wrong but she was crying so hard she couldn't tell us. Savannah leaned over and hugged her and said, "Don't cry Emma, whatever it is, it'll be ok."

Emma, with big tears running down her cheeks and sniffling says, "But St. Nick won't bring me anything."

Wondering why she thought that I asked her how she knew.

Poor little Emma, so pathetic, replied, "Because my shoes are too stinky!"

I'm not sure why she thought that but after reassuring her that yes, he would leave her surprises in stinky shoes, she calmed down and seemed to be ok. I guess it just goes to show you how sensitive she is right now. Of course, it was good for a chuckle too. But admitting that might just land me on the naughty list!

A Two Week Wait

This is a difficult post to write. Right now during the Christmas season we are only supposed to be worrying about what we will buy each other for Christmas, how to decorate the house, where to spend the holidays, should we put alcohol in the eggnog. This year though is a little different at my house.

I know I often (more often than I like) post about the ongoing medical problems our family is facing. I imagine it gets a little boring or repeatitive to read. Unfortunately that is our life... a life lived around doctors, medicines and pain. Now we are entering into a phase that is extremely worrisome, even more so than normal.

Recently I noticed some bumps on my breast. I thought at first they might be pimples although they never got any better nor did they ever come to a head like normal pimples might. Second I thought they were bug bites. Still, like I mentioned, they didn't get better and then they started to multiply. Next they came together in a sort of rash manner. Realizing that they weren't going to go away I put in a call to the gynecologist. They brought me in immediately and looked at them. This was a week ago. The doctor put me on an antibiotic for a possible skin infection even though the really wasn't signs of an infection. While examining me though she found a lump in my breast.

I mentioned that I was nursing Ben and that it could be a clogged duct. She agreed that it could be but to her it didn't have the same feel as a clogged duct. She asked if I had noticed it before. I said no but then again my breast are very large and it's hard to do a self-breast exam on my own. I normally leave that up to Mike to do! However since I am nursing he's not really "examined" me. She told me that she would give it a week and then bring me back in to have it rechecked at the same time she checked the bumps.

Today was the recheck. The lump is still there and hasn't changed. The bumps are slowly going away but more have come up. She said she's not sure they are related but since there is a kind of breast cancer that shows in the form of a rash on top of the breast she doesn't want to dismiss them either. She suggested that I keep an eye on both the bumps and the lump and that we give it 2 weeks time. If in that time the lump is still there and hasn't changed I'll be going in for a mammogram. She also suggested that I wean Ben so that I can get a clearer picture of what is going on. Because both my mother and my maternal grandmother had breast cancer she doesn't want to take any chances. My mother had breast cancer almost 20 years early than my grandmother... another worrisome fact.

Amidst all of this Ben and Emma are both having some big problems. If in 2 weeks Ben is not doing better he will have a rectal suction biopsy to rule out Hirshsprung's disease. We are waiting on a call from Scottish Rite Children's Hospital for an ultrasound for Emma. She is in almost constant pain now and we are hoping to pinpoint what's going on with her. We've tried several medicines and nothing is working. It is eerily similar to when Garrett had his problems and ended up with kidney surgery.

Someone asked what I wanted for Christmas. Right now I am just hoping for everyone to be ok. If I can't have that then I pray for the strength and preserverance to get through whatever we have facing us.