In Their Honor

Today we had Mass said for our babies. For those of you not familiar, each Mass said is said in honor of a particular prayer intention. It can be for someone who has passed, it can be for those living, it can be for just about anything.

It was raining as we left for church this morning. It marked my mood... sad and dreary. I pictured the raindrops as the tears I was wanting to cry. As we lined up in our pew I knew the Mass would be hard to go through. As Joseph and Sarah's names were read it took everything in me not to weep.

While I know that my babies are safe in heaven it still is hard to be without them. Joseph should be almost 3 months old and if I had been able to maintain my pregnancy with Sarah I'd be only 3 1/2 months from having her.

I'm trying to remember that God's plans are always better than my own. Sitting in Mass today I knew that but to hear your children's names read and a Mass offered for the "repose of the souls of..." was hard to deal with and to understand. Still, I am trying and I am trusting.

As I sat in the church and prayed for my little ones that have been called to heaven sooner than I ever had wanted I also prayed for the newest baby that is growing inside of me... still so very tiny and so very wanted. I am only 6 weeks along and very scared that things won't go right. I have prayed and prayed to leave it to God to worry about and that I just work on making sure I do what I can to keep this tiny baby safe. I know that if I were to lose this baby too I will make it through but I have to say, I am praying hard that God doesn't expect that of me yet again.

I'm living my faith, I'm trusting in God and I'm hoping beyond all hope that this little baby will be ok. I asked his/her big brothers and sisters in heaven to say a special prayer for our newest baby on the way. I'm asking that you too will pray for us and that we will be ok no matter what will happen. Thank you for your love, thoughts and prayers.

Trying to Get Back To Business

I miss blogging. Lately I've really tried to come up with ideas of what to write about but life is so busy that I haven't had great ideas to talk about. The kids are always saying funny things and while I post them to Facebook and then to my ongoing list I have on the computer I never get around to posting them here.

We have our ups and downs but nothing that stands out as blogworthy I guess. I'm trying though and I really want to get back into writing down what's going on. Sooooo... I found a writing Meme over at my good friend Angi's blog. I am going to steal it and try my hardest to write each day on the set topic. We'll see how it goes!

Here is the list in case you might want to do the same...

Day 1- Something you hate about yourself
Day 2- Something you love about yourself
Day 3- Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4- Something you have to forgive someone for
Day 5- Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6- Something you hope to never have to do
Day 7- Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8- Someone who has made your life a living hell or treated you badly
Day 9- Someone you didn't want to let go but drifted from
Day 10- Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11- Something people seem to compliment you on the most
Day 12- Something you never get compliments on
Day 13- A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days (write a letter)
Day 14- A hero that has let you down (write a letter)
Day 15- Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without
Day 16- Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17- A book you've read that changed your views on something
Day 18- Your views on gay marriage
Day 19- What do you think of religion or what do you think of politics?
Day 20- Your views on drugs and alcohol
Day 21- (senerio) Your best friend got into a car accident and you got into an argument just an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22- Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23- Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24- Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose the titles. (post the titles, artist and letter to that person)
Day 25- The reason you believe you are still alive today
Day 26- Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, why? When?
Day 27- The best thing going for you right now
Day 28- What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29- Something you hope to change about yourself and why
Day 30- A letter to yourself. Tell yourself everything you love about you!

So I can't promise I will get every day in in the next 30 days, it might take a tad longer, but I am aiming for a post a day! Some of the topics are pretty heavy and I'm hoping they make for great reflections and good posts.

Until tomorrow...

The Elijah's Cup

In our parish we have the Elijah's Cup that is sent home with different families each week. The Elijah's Cup is a chalice that is used during the Eucharistic Celebration during Mass. At the end of Mass the chalice is cleaned, placed in a purple bag and a family is called up to receive a blessing and to take the cup home with them. This week we brought home the chalice.

It is quite an honor to be able to bring the Elijah's Cup into our home. We are asked that throughout the week we use the cup as a reminder to pray for vocations... for the Lord to call more priests, more deacons, more nuns and more layity who wish to help teach our Catholic faith. We place it in a spot of honor in our home (in our house it is on our mantle above the fireplace) and then we should pray each day as a family.

Our family prays together before every meal and then as a family before bedtime. It is a wonderful time as a family to thank God for all that he has given us and to ask for blessings for our family and friends, for those we know and even those we don't know. Having the Elijah's Cup in our home has made these times even more special.

I suppose the way each family prays with the chalice in their home is different and dependent on what they like or prefer. In our family we take the chalice down and each person gets to hold it for a little bit and say what they are wanting to pray for. We know the chalice itself holds no "magic powers" but we do know that sometimes physical reminders of God's love and grace help us to center ourselves and to pray more effectively.

I have been amazed this week with what my children have prayed for. Each night before bed I normally ask what my kids are thankful for and who they would like to bless. With the Elijah's Cup here I have found that the kids are looking more past just the normal blessing of those they know. My heart swells as my kids have prayed not only for vocations (more priests and nuns) but for the priests we already have, for the homeless people, for the poor, for those considering abortions, for babies who might not have a good chance of living, for people with cancer, for teens struggling with depression, for military members, for military families, for those that are in the hospital and for those that are dying, for those that are financially struggling, and so many more intentions.

It's amazing to see your children so excited to pray. Mine have always been good about wanting to pray and in fact will make sure we stop everything we are doing to pray, but this week has been something even more than normal. They realize that there are so many people suffering or in need and they pray so hard for those people. They want so badly to help those in need and realize that help starts with prayer.

I pray myself that perhaps God may call some of my children to his service as priests and nuns. I would find it an honor for my children to serve in that capacity. Of course he may have other ideas for them too and their vocations may be to be married and have children to pass our faith onto. Whichever way God leads my children I hope that they listen to their hearts and follow that path.

I hope that our experience this week with the Elijah's Cup will be long-lasting for them. I know it will be for me. It has made me appreciate the innocence, the goodness, the faith and the trust my children have in God. They are so willing to ask for not only their needs but also for the needs of those who might not know to pray to God. They pray in thanksgiving, they pray for blessings, they pray with such an open heart that it brings me to tears. We are called to have faith like children (Matt:18:2-6). I can only pray that they always have the faith that they have now. What a blessing it will be for them as they grow.