Normally I think this post would be about my husband Mike who is pretty much my world. However, I thought I would write about someone who has made my life worth living too and in a different way than Mike.
My oldest daughter Kaylie is, I'm sure, my twin separated by almost 21 years and born from me instead of my mom. She and I are so very similar and yet so very different too.
Kaylie has always been very special. Mike was gone when I was pregnant with her. He was serving in the Marine Corps and was overseas involved in Operation Restore Hope in Somolia. It was such a hard time for me to be alone, worrying about Mike in such a dangerous area and pregnant and dealing with several complications that arose (and pregnancy hormones!). When I went into labor I was so sad that Mike would miss the birth of his first child.
While I was pregnant I had an inkling that Kaylie would be a girl but I was holding out so much hope for a boy first. We didn't know going to her birth what her sex was. Mike desperately wanted a boy and I had always said I didn't want any girls (since I had so many sisters) and I wanted 9 boys. God has a funny way of changing our plans!
When Kaylie was born and they declared, "It's a girl!" I was shocked and overwhelmed. I admit I had a fleeting moment of disappointment as I had always wanted a boy first so that whoever followed would have the big brother I never had. And then they laid this teeny, tiny baby girl on my chest. She wasn't crying at all and just looked at me. I immediately fell in love. As they took her from me to give her oxygen my arms ached to hold her again. I couldn't believe that little girl was mine.
It was such an amazing feeling to become a mother. It's one that I can't describe and yet all mothers will understand what that feeling is. My heart was now living outside of me and while I loved Mike so much more than I could ever explain, this was a new kind of love. I looked at my new baby girl and knew what my life's purpose was... it was to provide everything I could- love, hope, goodness, material goods, education, a love of God- to this child. It was awe inspiring to finally understand what I was here for and what I needed to do.
Over the years Kaylie has kept me laughing. She's comforted me when I've cried. She makes me angry sometimes and then melts my heart when she grows from those mistakes. She is wise beyond her years, a very "old soul". I feel like she has always been a part of me, always been with me. She is a wonderful big sister, a wonderful friend to those who need her. She's so very intelligent (bordering on a genius) and yet she's such a humble soul too. While she's has her flaws, as we all do, I will say that she is such a caring, loving person that it's easy to forgive when she does make a mistake.
I feel so very blessed that God gave me this child to be my own. I love her so much and she has made my life worth living. I will be lost when she leaves for college or moves out to be on her own. I know the time is getting close, she is a senior afterall, but I'm trying to focus on the times we still have together and how I am so proud of the young woman she has become. She touches everyone she comes in contact with and I know that I am a better person for having her in my life. She makes being a mother easy and she makes being a mother a wonderful job to have. I feel confident that she will go far in life and that she will continue to impact others as she always has.
I love you Kaylie. I am thankful you are mine. You have made my life so much better just by being here.