Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I went for an appointment Monday and had a regular "lady" check up. Things looked good so we scheduled an ultrasound for today to check for any unseen problems such as thickening of the uterus or other problems. I had the ultrasound today and now am waiting for the doctor to call me back. The technician measured something inside of my uterus (directly in the center of it) and did not look like a fibroid to me. Fibroids are normally embedded in the lining and are not as distinct looking as this thing was. The tech also normally makes comments about the fibroids. This time she just measured and said nothing. At the end she said, "The doctor will call you after he has reviewed the ultrasound".
In my life I've probably had a good 100+ ultrasounds. I've never seen something like this before. I'm praying that it is nothing and that I am worrying for nothing. If you could say a prayer or two for me to have not worry and to trust in God that things are ok or will be ok regardless of what happens I would appreciate it! I am scared to lose my fertility. I'm scared that I have cancer. I'm scared that there could be something really wrong. I am hoping the doctor will call soon so I don't have to worry so much or so I can figure out what to do next.
UPDATE: The doctor's office called yesterday to say that they were concerned and wanted to have a better look. They want to do an ultrasound where they inject saline into the uterus to do so. I am praying for just a confirmation of the things I already know I have but also know that they are looking for bigger problems now. Of course in doing online research I know that one of the things they are looking at now is uterine cancer. I'm holding out hope that this isn't the case. Please continue to pray. I go in May 12 for bloodwork and May 13th for the next ultrasound. I am scared to death but trying to remember that if I end up losing my fertility I will go on. It is a huge part of who I am and I know I'll be devastated but in the end I know that my life is more important and that I have so many beautiful blessings now. Still, I am hoping and praying that one day I will be able to have another child and hold a miracle baby in my arms.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
The last 20 years have been filled with the best and worst times of my life. We have been on incredible highs and felt the bottom of incredible lows. But through it all we have been together, holding each other up and holding tight to one another. Our love has seen us through more than we could ever imagine... war, military deployments, births of our children, deaths of our children, death of a parent, job changes, buying a house, surgeries and sicknesses, times of feast and times of famine. We have held each other through all the good times and bad.
I know that I am very blessed to have Mike in my life. He is my other half, my soulmate and my love. I can't imagine my life without him. I thank him for this incredible life he has given me, that we have given each other.
I love you Mike. I pray we have so many more years together. I am so happy to be your wife and your friend. You are an incredible man and I am so very fortunate you chose me to spend life with you. Words can't begin to tell you how very much you mean to me and how very much I love you.
If you were to ask me today if I would marry you all over again my answer would be a resounding "I Do!" I do today and always take you forever. I love you!