Sweetness

Jake is doing pretty good... he'd be doing better if we could get him on a schedule or get him to like other people besides me. He will sit sometimes with the kids (especially Savannah) but most of the time he wants me. It's been exhausting. He is sweet though and I feel so blessed that he made it to our arms. The kids are in love with him but the newness is wearing off and the fighting over who gets to hold him or try to feed him is done. They all will help but it's no longer a race to see who gets to first. On a regular basis, though, I hear from them a dozen times a day about how cute or how sweet he is. It makes my heart melt.

I am healing. This week was a long one. We were getting ready for Mike's parents to come and meet Jake for the first time. I think I overdid it and was very sore and had new pains crop up over the weekend. I need to know my limits but it's hard when you are used to just going and doing what needs to be done. I know it's going to take a while but I'm ready now to be better. It's another frustration that I have at the current moment!

I wish I had a crystal ball to know what to expect in the future. I want to know that I am going to heal completely and how long it's going to take. Unfortunately I don't have the crystal ball so I have to be patient. I've been told I have the patience of Job. I guess that I'm going to have to muster all that I have during this time. I'm tired of being patient but I have no other choice. I also realize that many people carry many crosses and that right now this is my cross to bear. I hope I can bear it with grace and dignity. It's so hard.

I am ready to feel like myself again... both physically and emotionally. I look at Jake and know that it was all worth it though. Still, I'm ready to feel good again. I'm praying that this happens soon.